Aloha!

I’ve been having the most romantic and adventurous week in Kauai, Hawaii with Jonathan.  We’ve been hiking, discovering secret beaches, swimming with sea turtles and jumping off waterfalls.  I made you a postcard:)

This trip feels like a major milestone because it’s the first vacation I’ve taken that I’ve really “earned”.  Let me explain…

Just over a year ago, I found myself drowning in a scary amount of personal credit card debt.  I’m talking don’t-know-how-I’m ever-gonna-pay-this-off, I-can’t-buy-clothes-ever-again, anxious-suffocating-panicky debt.  Debt has a way of sucking the life out of you and it was affecting my health, my business and my marriage.  Not fun.

After ignoring it and avoiding it for months, I finally realized I had to do something about it.

Now, I’m not the kind of girl who does well on a budget. I could have stopped my monthly date with Anthropologie, cooked kale and rice for every meal and said no to nights out with the girls, but as someone who has a history of bingeing after only 48 hours of dieting, I knew that a restrictive budget (like a restrictive diet) wasn’t gonna fly.

I did, however, create realistic boundaries in my spending and starting paying close attention to where my money was going.  But it was clear that the best way for me to release my debt was to just make more money.

Before you dive into the mindset of “there’s no way I could make more money, I’m stuck” I want you to consider this: what if there are an infinite number of ways you could make money that you’ve never thought about like…

• A surprise inheritance
• Getting a promotion out of the blue
• An opportunity to sublet your apt while house sitting for your aunt’s best friend
• Learning about a new job at Saturday night’s party that you are perfect for
• Finding $20 on the sidewalk

We spend so much time focusing on how we can’t make more money, and no time thinking about all the ways we could make more money! I want you to make a list, yes, now please.

Now, thinking about all the ways you could make more money is the first step, the second step is action.

Maybe you need to

• Update your profile on linked-in
• Actually go to that party with all the successful lawyers (instead of shying away because you don’t “fit in”)
• Volunteer for that project and then ask for a raise after you knocked the socks off your boss
• Check out www.housecarers.com to see if you can house sit for someone in your area

For my business specifically, my action step was getting some serious marketing training.  I committed to participating in Marie Forleo’s BSchool where she teaches women how to make money online.  Marie taught me how to grow my list, create an amazing program and how to market it to the right clients who really needed me.

I took a series a right actions, followed her advice, and the results were mind-blowing:

I quadrupled my audience, launched a new brand and my debt, which I thought was going to take me 5 years to pay off, was gone in 9 months.  I had no idea that this was going to be the outcome, I just accepted the possibility and then went into action.  The rest took care of itself.

Debt has a way of weighing you down, emotionally and physically.  Without it I feel more free, alive and relaxed.  And as you know, feeling more centered really keeps me from eating entire bags of potato chips after glancing at my bank accounts.  And, being able to do things like go out to nice dinners, buy a dress I love and go on vacation is not necessarily crucial to my happiness, but I’m certainly having a good time!

I know that talking about money can be taboo, but it’s so important to me that you know that if you’re struggling, there are simple things you can do.  And I know from experience that having a sense of peace and freedom with money is a huge part of healing our relationship with food.

If you’re an entrepreneur like me, you have to check out Marie Forleo’s incredible free video training series to help you understand exactly what you need to create a flourishing business. You can get access by clicking here.

AND, since I’m always getting emails asking for business advice, I’m hosting a “Behind my Biz Tele-Class” to tell you exactly how I created a 6-figure business that I love and supports my life.  You can sign up for the tele-class here.

I have to say that beyond what I’ve learned from Marie, the most meaningful advice I’ve received is from women who are doing what I do.  Being able to “look under the hood” at how they manage their websites, create their content, balance work and play and get clients has given me so much clarity, and I want to do the same for you.

So just click here to sign up for the teleclass on Wednesday, February 13th at 7pm EST/4pm PST (you’ll get the recording if you can’t make it).

In the class I’m going to tell you:
-       The biggest mistakes I made in business and how you can avoid them
-       The most effective strategies I used to make the most money with the least amount of work
-       How to ‘stand out’ in a sea of women who seem to be doing the same thing as you
-       How to create a business that is aligned with your passions and purpose

Plus they’ll be ample time for laser coaching at the end, I promise not to get off the phone until everyone’s questions have been answered.  Plan on hanging out for at least 90 minutes.  I have A LOT to tell you.

I’m so excited for you to dive into Marie’s first video .  The advice she gives is gold, I can’t believe she’s giving it away for free.

See you next Wednesday!

Mahalo!

Sarah

Remember back in December when I asked people what they wanted to know and what I could support them with?  The two questions I got the most were, “what do you eat?” and “how did you grow your business?”

Well, I’m listening!  I’ve decided to hold a “Behind My Biz” teleclass on February 13th at 7pm EST/4pm PST to share with you how I grew my business and give you a foolproof action plan to be a rockin’ solo-preneur in no time at all.  These are the steps I have used to grow my business and what my mentees have adopted with huge success.

You can’t sign up for the class yet, but do save the date on your calendar: Wednesday February 13th at 7pm EST/4pm PST.

I’m not a business coach, but I do know that hating your job or struggling with money is a huge cause of overeating, and I know that if I can teach you a few things to help you adore your job and have success, then you’ll be far less likely to stuff your face with Cheetos.

Speaking of Cheetos… today I want to simply share with you what I eat.  You hear me talking a lot about what is underneath your eating habits, because I really believe that you can talk about the benefits of kale til you’re blue in the face, but true healing only happens when you can understand why you eat the way you do.

But, the reality is that what we put in our mouths is REALLY important.  It affects our mood, immune system, relationships, skin, digestion, productivity, sex-drive and happiness.  So I wanted to be clear on what it means to me to feed my body useful, nutritious, nurturing foods that support my life, so that you can start to curate a way ofeating that works for you.

Breakfast: After I workout, I eat breakfast at my kitchen table while listening to the Norah Jones Pandora station and looking out the window at the neighborhood waking up.

Green Smoothie: ½ avocado, 5 leaves of kale, some cucumber or celery, 1 small apple, water, (mint optional)

OR

2 Fried eggs, sauteed kale and ½ avocado

Lunch: I eat lunch with friends or at home by myself at my kitchen table while listening to music.  I do a lot of deep breathing before I eat so I’m not stressed.  Stress does a number on digestion, so it’s really important to be calm.

Bowl of fun: steamed greens (kale, swiss chard or collards), leftover organic animal protein from dinner the night before, sauteed onions, sometimes if I’m super hungry I’ll add something starchy like steamed sweet potato, roasted parsnips or carrots. And maybe I’ll add some mushrooms, peppers or whatever veggies I have in the fridge.

OR

Salad: arugula and chopped raw kale, organic animal protein or eggs (if I didn’t have any in the morning), tomatoes, carrots, avocado and whatever veggies I have.

Dinner: I almost always eat dinner with Jonathan at home during the week.  After closing my computer and straightening up the apartment, I change and freshen up my makeup.  This helps me leave my work mode behind, and step into wife mode. I’m usually the one to cook because he gets home late, but I find it to be really relaxing and fun (most of the time).  We usually sit at the dining room table, light candles and talk. It can be easy to want to tune out in front of the TV, but I believe the strength of a relationship is very tied to how well you listen and connect with one another over a meal or glass of wine.

We eat something different every night, but it usually is made up of a nice piece of organic, local, happy animal protein (lamb, fish, beef, pork etc), a cooked veggie (sometimes things like broccoli, brussel sprouts, eggplant, peppers, or we’ll do something starchier like potatoes, sweet potatoes, carrots etc.) and a simple salad with lemon and olive oil.  Cooking dinner usually takes me about 40 minutes.

There’s a few things you might notice here:

I don’t snack.  I have a practice of only eating when I’m hungry and I don’t get hungry in between meals.  And if I’m hungry at 11am, I’ll just eat lunch!

There aren’t a lot of grains in my life.  I used to eat a ton of grains, but I find that my body does better on a meat and veggie diet right now.  Everyone is different, and my cravings will probably shift again, but this is where I’m at.

Whether I’m alone, with Jonathan or with friends, I always take time to eat slowly without a book, cell phone, email or TV.  Food tastes too good to be distracted.

Where’s the chocolate??  In addition to the above, you’ll usually find me enjoying chocolate, amazing bread and ice cream on the weekends. I find that the sugar and gluten slows me down and messes with my focus during the week, so I don’t eat it then.  But on the weekends I look for the most fresh, warm bread I can get my hands on, and buy the most luxurious chocolate.  And when I eat it, I make sure I’m in a beautiful space in a fabulous outfit, so the whole thing is incredibly satisfying.

What I need you to understand is that I didn’t come to eat like this, and have so much peace with my food by following a meal plan or diet.  Finding my groove took a lot of trial and error, and a steadfast commitment to learning how to listen to my body and her cravings.  I spent so many years thinking that paying attention to my body was the best way to gain 50 pounds.  But the reality was that when I learned a very specific way to connect and listen to her, it became clear what I needed to be nourished and satisfied, and I rarely felt the need for the stuff I knew wasn’t healthy.

This art of tuning into your body, is something we’ll spend a lot of time on in Live More Weigh Less.  What’s amazing about this strategy is that you’ll naturally lose weight without ever using a meal plan or diet ever again.  And you’ll never feel deprived or restricted, can you imagine?

If you’re totally confused about what to eat, and how to actually stick to eating healthy, then you may want to consider checking out Live More Weigh Less.  You can get on the waiting list here.

I hope you’ve had a wonderful week. I’ve been busy putting together the final touches for Live More Weigh Less: Early Enrollment and I can’t wait to tell you about all of the details and perks next week.

So as I mentioned on Friday, I was skiing with my family last weekend and as I’m sure you’ve experienced, when you’re with your family you tend to dive back into old habits, specifically for me it’s around my eating.

This used to piss me off, but now I see it as a beautiful opportunity to observe and learn from my eating habits.

Let me paint a picture for you: It’s saturday night, and we’re celebrating my brother’s birthday around the dining room table in our ski rental house. Cake gets cut and served and we’re passing around 2 pints of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, One Sweet Whirled and Super Fudge Chunk. Since One Sweet Whirled is far superior to Super Fudge Chunk, I was determined to get some.

So I’m watching the pint being passed around when I realized that I was going to be the last to get some. All of the sudden I was calculating how much would be left in the pint after it went through 6 other people. I felt my throat tighten and fists clench. It took everything in me to not scream, “Don’t eat it all!” like a greedy 7 year old.

I felt like ‘happiness’ was living in this tiny pint of ice cream, and if I didn’t get any, then there would be no happiness left for me. Bummertown. Luckily, when it finally got to me, there was plenty, but I still had this feeling like someone was going to come over and eat it off my plate.

Before I would have gone into major self-scolding mode, telling myself I’m a fat, weak, idiot who should never be allowed in the same room as ice cream again.

But on Saturday, a few bites into my ice cream I thought, “huh. very interesting. what’s going on here?” You see, what I’ve learned, and what I help my clients understand, is that we can learn so much about ourselves by observing our attitudes about food without judgement.

What I saw on Saturday, and what was a rampant pattern for years, was that I felt like there wasn’t going to be enough for me.

And here’s the important part to understand, usually, when you feel one way about food, you feel that way about everything. And it’s true that there’s a part of me that feels like I don’t have enough money, enough clothes, enough attention etc. But I hadn’t been paying much attention to that attitude recently, and saturday was an awesome reminder to revisit that thought pattern.

I have a client who is always very stressed about calories, not over eating, if she’s eating the right stuff etc. Her diet is constantly on her mind and she’s always panicked.

So I asked her, “How often do you feel in a panic in your daily life?”

“All the time.”

Bingo.

Here’s the thing, my client doesn’t have an eating problem, she has an anxiety problem.

I don’t have an eating problem, I have a problem with never feeling like I have enough.

And food, is just one way that this problem is being acted out.

So this is what I want to know about you: how do you feel around food? Needy, restrictive, like there’s never enough, like you’re never eating the right thing, confused, panicked, numb? I want you to take some time today to observe your attitudes about food without judgement, and see what comes up. And I’d love for you to tell us in the comments below.

And are you that way in other parts of your life? I would bet, yes.

What’s awesome about having a global attitude that affects all parts of your life, is that you can use other areas of your life to work on it. Areas that are much less complicated than dealing with our eating.

So I’m continuing to work on knowing that I have enough money, and that I am safe, provided for, abundant and there is infinite happiness to go around. My client is now working on reducing the anxiety in her life by taking time for herself to relax.

I want you to think about in what area of your life you can practice releasing this “issue”, because as you heal it in one area, you usually stop doing it with food. And do tell us what your ideas in the comments below because some people might be stumped, and it would be so awesome to hear your plan.

And isn’t it nice to know that you don’t have a food problem? Food is just one way you’re acting out a global habit. Tweet it!

I can’t wait to chat with you about this in the comments below!

xo

Sarah

I hope you had an incredible holiday and an amazing New Year.  My time on the east coast was spectacular, some of the highlights were:

* Getting delightfully giddy over gewurztraminer, oysters and grilled cheese with Jonathan at our favorite West Village spot during our 24 hour jaunt to NYC.

* Sitting near a gorgeous, petite, asian, homeless woman with the most amazing long grey hair at Old South Church on Christmas Eve.  It was like watching a 13 year old girl at a Taylor Swift concert, she was so joyful and taken by the stories and hymns.

* Sneaking out of the house with my siblings and family friends on Christmas Eve, collecting a discarded Christmas Tree and then ringing my parents doorbell and belting “Angels we have Heard on High” at the top of our lungs.

* Having my 3 best friends from growing up come to our home in SF for a fancy New Year’s Eve feast with our darling men.

With new year’s resolutions crowding our inboxes and facebook feeds, it’s important to savor the moments of the holidays, especially if the only thing you can remember right now is Tuesday’s hangover:).

I have to admit that the 2 previous emails that I drafted to send to you today, I scrapped. I think it’s because I find the whole topic of “New Year’s Resolutions” a little cheesy, and yet, I looooove making them and think goal setting, dreaming and visioning is incredibly important.

The traditional new year’s resolution-ing process is about choosing something you’re gonna change, or stop doing immediately, which is a total death trap.  We can’t just change who we are and how we operate on a dime. That intention of perfection only sets us up for failure.

The reality is that change has to happen gradually.  When I first started working with my friend and mentor, Jena LaFlamme, she told me that change was going to be like water evaporating – you can’t see it happening, but one day you wake up and the water is gone.  You can’t always see change during the process, but one day you wake up, and you’re just different.

So instead of making all these harsh resolutions, I wanted to walk you through an exercise that’s more fun, more gentle, more realistic and a whole lot more effective.

I first did this exercise with one of my teachers, Tara Marino and I couldn’t believe that something so simple could have such a profound effect on my life.

What I want you to do today, or this weekend, is to carve out an hour to do a vision of your life a year from now.  Just a free write, in the present tense in your journal or on your computer.  I decided to get super vulnerable and include my vision below my signature in this email so you could have a reference point. I changed my mind a million times about whether to show this to you, but I figured, what the hell;).

Here are some guidelines:

• Start your email with “It’s January 4th (or 5th etc) 2014” and then talk about every detail of one day from the time you get up till the time you go to bed.  Doing a day-in-the-life will guide you to be really specific.
• Just because you write this down does not mean you have to accomplish this or that you can’t change your mind, don’t be paralyzed by finality, just have fun and roll with it.
• Stop feeling guilty.  When I was writing this vision some thoughts I had were, “I shouldn’t want this, it’s too much”.  “I’m fine just the way I am why should I want more?”  “Is it vain to want to be beautiful?”  It’s normal to feel guilty for wanting more, but that guilt is usually based in the idea that there is a finite amount of success and if you have more than someone will have less.  The reality is that there is an infinite amount of success to go around and the more you have, the more you can allow the people around you to have it as well.  Guilt can also stem from this belief that the more I have, the less thoughtful, service oriented and centered I will be.  This is not true!  Having abundance in your life does not make you a spoiled, self-centered brat.  In fact, having abundance allows you to be even more of service and connected to your purpose.
• Include how you feel.  Since reading Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map I have been really focused on feelings.  Make sure that you write about how you want to feel in your body, in your clothes, about work, money, love and friendship.

Now, when I sat down to write my vision this morning, I really didn’t want to.  I have a cold, I need to pack to go to Tahoe this weekend and have a million errands to run.  But I knew that having a vision is like having a compass to steer me in the right direction, and without it my year, and even my day would feel off kilter. Tweet it!

What’s amazing is that just the act of doing the vision has put me back on my axis.  I often feel like my life’s path is a train that is run by a completely different force out of my control.  Writing my vision is like remembering where my train is going and at the same time, it’s my ticket to get on that train.  Otherwise I’m just stuck in the station being bumped around by travelers like a pinball machine.

I meet so many women who think they should wait to explore their vision until after they lose weight.  They think that they’ll just concentrate all of their energy on losing 30 lbs and then they’ll have the clarity to figure out what their life should be about.  But without clarity, meaning and direction, food is our only way to get a false sense of feeling grounded, centered and alive.

The only way to lose weight is to know where your life is headed.

And the most amazing thing I’ve learned since I’ve been spending time writing visions for my life, is that writing the vision takes effort, but once it’s out of our minds and onto paper, our lives start to magically, subconsciously, invisibly and effortlessly moving in the direction of our dreams.

In the comments below I would love to know:
1. If you’ve done a vision like this before and what your experience was?
2. Do you have any other new year’s exercises that you’ve found helpful?
3. Do you have a snippet of your vision you’d like to share?  Like something you’re particularly excited about?  OR (this would be awesome) something you feel guilty for wanting?

I’m so excited to dive into this with you.

And before I sign off I wanted to let you know that I’m going to be emailing people privately next week about applying for my VIP Private Coaching and Mentorship program.  If you want to get on the shortlist, today is the last opportunity.  You can just reply to this email saying you’re interested and I’ll make sure you’re first in line for one of the 5 spots I have open.

Happy New Year, my dear! I’m so excited help you make this your best year yet.

xo

Sarah

As promised… my vision:

It’s January 4th, 2014.

I wake up naturally around 7:30 to the sunlight pouring in my windows, alarms are a thing of the past.  I feel rested, alive and excited about my day.  I spend some time laying in bed, feeling the crisp white sheets against my skin and reflecting on my dreams from the night before.  Next to me on his pillow is a little note from Jonathan that he left before he went to work.  

I get out of bed and throw on the coziest bathrobe and turn on the kettle for tea.  While the water is heating up, I sit on my plush cozy bedroom rug and meditate for 5-10 minutes.  I have a collection of about 20 meditations on my iPhone that make me feel inspired and joyful.   

My apartment is clean, organized and full of light, color and fresh flowers.  It feels spacious yet cozy, clean yet creative.

I take some time to sip a cup of tea and look out the window, read a book or check up on my favorite blogs.

At 8:40 I leave my apt to walk to yoga and meet up with a friend in the neighborhood along the way.  We quickly catch up and go to yoga together. It’s so nice to have someone close by who I can chat with regularly and who inspires me to get to yoga.

In class I feel strong, flexible and centered.  I have an awesome yoga outfit on that makes my butt look awesome and doesn’t pinch under my arms.  When I do a downdog I’m not worried about my belly hanging down, in fact my belly looks ah-mazing.

When I get home, I shower with the most amazing organic products and take the time to appreciate my strong, sleek body.  I feel so lucky to feel so beautiful and at home in my skin.  

Choosing my outfit for the day is a blast.  As I fling open the doors of my armoire I’m greeted by the most beautiful clothes, all color coordinated.  It’s like walking into my favorite boutique.  I choose a cream silk blouse, perfectly fitted jeans and brown boots.  I add a few funky necklaces and some simple earrings.  

I sit down at my vanity with stellar lighting and gaze over my gorgeous makeup that is perfectly displayed in glass cups and bowls.  I take my time putting on my makeup, admiring my flawless skin.  

By noon I’m out the door and off to a cafe where I’m meeting 3 other women to work.  We intermittently chat, work and give each other advice.  I feel excited, sure and confident in what I’m producing.  I don’t feel rushed, my ideas flow freely and I feel super creative and of service to my readers and the women in my programs.  Overall, work is easy, fun and inspiring.

I’m excited to talk with my private clients tomorrow and to hear about all of the progress they’ve had over the past few weeks.  It feels like hanging with close girlfriends.  

At 6 I leave to go take a voice lesson with a group of women I’ve been singing with for a few months.  We sing fun modern songs, I’m getting better at holding a harmony and I’m thinking about auditioning for a musical next week, crazy!

When I get home I have a note from my personal assistant about what she accomplished today.

- Laundry picked up and put away
- shoes straightened in your closet
- dishes washed and put away
- packages shipped, packages picked up and mail opened and sorted
- dress returned
- fresh flowers on the table

Amazing! It feels so good to have a woman I trust to help me with my errands so I can focus on my business and my relationship.

After I swing by Whole Foods to pick up a few things for dinner, I come home, change into a silk tank and throw my hair up into a messy top knot and touch up my makeup.  I feel fresh, relaxed, beautiful and sexy as I start my evening with Jonathan.  

When Jonathan comes home around 8, he showers, decompresses and changes out of his scrubs. I put dinner on hold and we take 10 minutes to sit with each other on the couch to focus on each other and talk about our days.  

Together we finish up dinner and sit at our dining room table in our sturdy, comfy chairs and enjoy a simple, delicious, healthy meal.  We talk about what we’re grateful for, we laugh and appreciate each other.  I feel so in love, desired and connected to Jonathan.

As he does the dishes I straighten up the apartment and turn down the bed.  Once things are pulled together we sit on the couch and talk more, read or watch a TV show.  We feel calm, present and completely focused on each other and no stress or anxiety from the day creeps in.  

As we get ready for bed together I feel tired, relaxed and excited for a new amazing day to begin tomorrow.  Settling into bed I feel so grateful that this is my life.  

A few weeks ago, Jonathan and I got our Christmas Tree at Delancey Street, a half-way house for ex-convicts and drug addicts where they learn valuable skills for being great members of society. When I walked in, I was acutely aware of all the large, tattooed, scarred, burly men. You could tell that these guys have really been through it.

But these were the most warm, polite, inviting men I have ever encountered. They greeted me warmly, showed us all the best trees and were so fast and efficient (very out of character for SF). The 50-something, 6 foot 5 inches, 250 pound man who was helping us, we’ll call him Jim, offered to tie our Christmas tree to our car, and we took the opportunity to ask him some questions about Delancey Street. With impeccable eye contact and a slow, strong, low voice, he told us that he’s been at Delancey Street for 21 months and before that he had been in and out of jail his whole life. Just before he came to Delancey he was facing a life sentence.

Jim has been spending the past year working at the Delancey Street Cafe as their chef where he has discovered his love of cooking and hopes to get a job at a top restaurant as a butcher in the next few months. He mentors other members of Delancey Street and runs the interview program.

“I honestly could have never imagined how amazing my life could be. I’m working hard, I have amazing friends and I’ve never been happier. Delancey changed my life.”

As he was telling us how grateful he is to Delancey, I could see some tears welling up to match the black tear tattooed on his face. As you can imagine, my face was soaked. I was so moved by this man’s story and so grateful that he took the time to share a piece of his story with us.

In the car on the way home I realized two things:

1. People have much more serious problems than too-tight jeans.

2. These are the exact moments I used to miss for so many years because of my preoccupation with weight.

You see, it used to be that over the holidays, all it would take was one unflattering photo or two too many sugar cookies to send me into a downward spiral of self-hatred and criticism. This broken record of self-imposed emotional abuse was so loud that I couldn’t hear, see or appreciate what was going on around me. I missed the moments.

I also tried so hard not to feel anything, so that I avoided feeling the depth of my despair around my body.

We think that this broken record keeps us “in-check” and “in control” of our eating, but the reality is that the misery it creates, just sends us wanting more cookies and egg nog for a jolt of happiness.

Thinking about your body, is not going to change your body. Paying attention to the moments will, because they remind you of what’s really important and who you truly are.

This week, regardless of your holiday plans, I want you to pay acute attention to the moments and really engage in them. I want you to get out of your head, and into your life. When you’re soaking in all the amazing moments, you will be so fulfilled with joy and love that you’ll need way less Christmas cookies.

Christmas isn’t about how many cookies you ate, how your clothes are fitting or the number on the scale.

It’s about asking your Grandmother about her childhood, watching your baby cousin open her first present, performing your amateur rendition of the Nutcracker, giving a homeless person a warm blanket, remembering the stories behind your ornaments, making snow angels and looking into the eyes of the person you love.

Christmas is a time to remember that life is so much more than gaining and losing the same 15 lbs . Tweet it!

In the comments below, I would love to hear an amazing holiday moment from this year, a meaningful memory, or what you commit to paying attention to this week. Putting things into words and sharing is a great way to engage in the meaning of Christmas, so I can’t wait to read all of your stories.

Wishing you snow, visions of sugar plums and perfect presents. See you in 2013!

Xo

Sarah

I hope you’ve had a festive few weeks! Jonathan and I have been baking Christmas cookies, lighting the menorah, belting Christmas carols (mostly Mariah Carey and Glee) and reflecting on all of the miracles in our lives. It’s been heaven.

As I was flipping through O Magazine yesterday I came across an ad for “alli”, a weight loss pill that makes you poop a lot, that said:

“LET’S FIGHT HOLIDAY FAT! Dominate the Holiday and come out weight loss ready in 2013.”

Ugh. Yuck. No thank you.

When I read that, I felt tight and anxious, like I was preparing for war against my body.

But this message isn’t new to me, and I know it’s not new to you. We’re inundated with messages telling us we need to muster up willpower, grab our guns and kick the sh*t out of our body, so we can finally lose weight and be happy.

Last week, my therapist pointed out that “humankind” is really

Human-kind.

Just say it out loud, “kind”. Don’t you feel your feathers smoothing down your back and your shoulders soften?

Now, what would it look like, instead of going to war against your body, to be kind to her? I imagine curling up on the couch with my body, sharing a pot of tea and talking about boys.

FIGHTING HOLIDAY FAT feels like shooting at my body from behind barricades in my kitchen and periodically nursing my wounds and exhaustion with a few brownies.

How would you rather feel?

And can we be honest with each other for a second? How many times have you tried to lose weight over the holidays? Like, every year since you were 13? And I bet you still find yourself eating 10 cookies worth of cookie dough when you’re rolling out Christmas cookies (I mean, you’re not gonna let all those scraps go to waste). And after, you spend hours, maybe days berating yourself for being such a weak, ugly mess.  All of that self-hatred makes us want to curl up in a pile of peppermint bark and gorge our sorrows away.

What if we just call it like it is – Christmas is a time to eat lots of cookies, drink eggnog and have a few extra glasses of wine.

What if you just let yourself have it?

What if you stopped trying to lose weight this month, and you started being kind?

Here’s what kindness looks like to me:

-Wearing festive clothes everyday

-Taking time during the day to stare at our Christmas tree

-Eating as many cookies as I want when they’re really frickin’ good

-Rubbing my belly, taking a bath, and sipping ginger tea when I feel a little sick after, telling myself, “It’s Christmas love, don’t beat yourself, be kind”

-Eating what my body needs to feel energetic and beautiful: green smoothies, lots of kale, homemade dinners and hot tea

-Spending more time with friends and family and less time with my computer

-Telling my body I love her, everyday, even if she’s looking a little puffy

-Knowing that having three glasses of wine on one night, is a lot different than having three glasses of wine every night

-Moving my body everyday because nothing makes me happier, more grounded or more alive

I know you think that if you put down your guns, and call off the war with your body, that you’d raid Walgreens and eat every single green and red wrapped Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup you could get your hands on, but I disagree.

I bet, that if you got really clear on what it looks like to be kind to yourself, you stop fighting and start enjoying yourself, that you won’t gain twenty pounds in the next 2 weeks. But you won’t know until you try, so let’s give it a whirl!

In the comments below, I want to know – what does kindness look like for you – especially when it comes to the holiday season? And since there’s commonly confusion between “kindness” and “apathy” I want you to ask me any questions you have about hitting your sweet spot.

Wishing you a weekend full of candle lighting, cookie making and kindness.

Xo,

Sarah

I get a lot of emails every week from women asking if I have an hour to spare to talk to them about business.  These women are trying to figure out what they want to do, how to leave their jobs or how to make their coaching practices flourish.  I remember so clearly how panicked I was when I was starting my business, and I just wanted someone to give me all the answers.

I hope you had an amazing weekend!  I spent all day yesterday Christmafying my apartment.  I’d love for you to see my pics of the place, just follow me on instagram (@sarahejenks) to check them out.

As women, we have this idea that we can do all of this work to achieve a certain goal, and once we reach it, we’ll effortless stay there forever.

Last week I was talking to a woman who was interested in working with me privately and she asked me, “I’ve tried so many things and nothing has stuck, how am I supposed to know that this is going to work for me?”

I gave her the answer she didn’t want to hear.

I told her that most weight loss programs promise perfection.  They tell you that once you lose weight that your cravings will go away, you’ll want to work out everyday and you’ll be confident all the time.

It’s frankly bullsh*t.

I told her that her cravings won’t go away, but she’ll welcome them and use them as a map to understand what she really wants.  She won’t want to workout everyday but she’ll be more likely to remember how good it feels when she does.  She’s gonna have days when she feels fat and won’t have anything to wear, but she won’t feel like her life is over.

When we strive for perfection we get rigid, scared and fail easily.  There’s no room for the awesome messiness when perfection is our priority. Life is full of ups and downs and really good bread. And I think, perfection is not all it’s cracked up to be. Tweet it.

What if we redefined perfection?

What if you measured perfection in how much you’re reading instead of how little you’re eating?

What if perfection is somewhere between a size 6 and a size 10?

What if perfection is moving your body everyday, even though you’re just walking for 15 minutes?

What if perfection is being completely hung over because you were too busy taking tequila shots with your besties to even care about how you felt the next day?

What if perfection is buying the perfect holiday dress even though you’re heavier than you were last year?

What if perfection is just about not trying to fix yourself, for once?

In the comments below I want to hear about how the pursuit of perfection has messed you up in the past, and how you’re gonna redefine it going forward.

Releasing my obsession with perfection has been the most challenging and freeing process of my life.  It’s unloaded anxiety, fear and shame from my being and has allowed me to create a life of adventure, passion and guilt-free trips to the ice cream shop.

This week I really want you to exist in this new definition of perfection and see how it shifts everything.  If you need support, just reach out here, and I’ll make sure to be there for you.

xo

Sarah

Can you believe Thanksgiving is a week away?  Crazypants.  I’ll be heading to Cleveland to spend the holiday with Jonathan’s family and I’m getting super excited.  I love that this holiday is centered around delicious, seasonal, homemade food. I’ve been pinning my fav recipes here, like our famous Jenksgiving dish: cornbread stuffing.  If you’re looking for some Thanksgiving inspiration, just click here to get pinning.

Also, I wanted to let you know that Sunday is a very special day.  My mentors, Marie Forleo and Gabby Bernstein along with Mastin Kipp, the founder of my fav personal development site – The Daily Love are going to be on OPRAH! I attribute so much of my happiness and success to these three people, and I would love for you to tune into Super Soul Sunday this week on OWN to get a slice of their awesomeness.

Now, today I want to talk to you about your J-O-B. Did you cringe a little?  Awesome. Keep reading.

This is what most of my clients’ days look like before we started working together:

Get up
Work
Eat Dinner
Go to sleep
Repeat

Ugh. When you think about it, it’s a little depressing, right?

So I want to ask you a question, is your work fun and fulfilling?

If the answer is yes, you can stop reading and tell us what your secret is by leaving a comment below. You’re a rockstar, please share your juju.

If your answer is no.  Let’s have a little chat… If you’re spending 80% of your waking hours at work, and it’s not fun and fulfilling, then your life is going to get pretty miserable really fast, if it hasn’t already.  And when life is miserable, you’re going to find the easiest, cheapest way to get a jolt of happiness – eating. Usually in the form of cookie dough and endless bbq chips.

If you’re wondering why you keep finding your fist in a bag of Doritos even though you want to lose weight so badly, and you keep crying yourself to sleep every night wondering, “why can’t I just have more willpower?” I need you to understand something really important:

The problem is not your willpower. The problem is your job. Tweet it!

The key to ending emotional eating is to pinpoint the source of our misery.  For many of us it’s a draining, uninspiring job.

Here’s the good news, there is something you can do about it.  And it doesn’t involve quitting your job or work on finding your purpose. I’m going to give you 3 easy things you can do this week to make your job more fun, more fulfilling and less draining even if you dread going to work every day.

Learn your co-worker’s dog’s name
Do you know the names of your co-workers kids? What they’re up to this weekend? Have you ever gone to drinks and made a point to not talk about work?

No? Start getting to know the person in the next cubicle. Real human connection makes our days more meaningful and helps them go by supah fast.

Take time for yourself besides the detour to the candy bowl
The 10 minutes you spend deciding between Wheat Thins and Oreos in the break room does not count as a break.  Normally the only breaks we take during the day are to eat, and that’s usually because we feel guilty for pausing, or we honestly have no idea what to do.

Instead, bring in a stack of magazines to work to peruse throughout the day, open the window and take 10 deep breaths, check out your fav blog, walk around the block, get a 10-minute back massage at your local nail salon (this one helped me lose my first 15 pounds).

One time, when I worked in advertising, my boss came up to me when I was reading Martha Stewart Living at my desk and said sarcastically, “working hard I see.”  I responded politely by saying, “I’m actually two days ahead of schedule on my projects for you and I find that when I rest my brain for a few minutes I produce much better work. While you’re here, is there anything else you’d like me to do for you?”

I never got shit again for taking a break.

Spruce up your space
Your mood, productivity and happiness is directly linked to your environment.  If you’re spending 80% of your time in an ugly, messy, dark, depressing office or cubicle, then you’re gonna be ugly, messy and depressed.  Brighten things up!  Organize your papers, buy pretty folders, put fresh flowers on your desk.  The prettier your space, the prettier you will be.  I’m serious, give it a shot.

This is my ultimate dream office. Every week I try to create this feel in my home office so one day I can have something that looks exactly like Drew’s from Domino Magazine.

Alright, I know  it can be so easy to just passively go through the motions of your day and do things like you’ve always done them, but if you really want to start liking your job and stop feeling the need to snack all day, then you need to follow the 3 steps above.

To keep yourself accountable, I want you to post the three things you’re gonna do next week in the comments below, so we can all cheer you on.

I know that if you get to know the people around you, take fun breaks and spruce up your space that your work is going to start being fun and fulfilling even if you currently hate your job.

I can’t wait to hear about your plans!

xo

Sarah

PS. My interview with Kavita for her Done with Being Single video event is live today!  Make sure to sign up here to get free access.  It’s a juicy one.